Packed and Panicked.

Maybe panicked is a bit of an exaggeration. Nonetheless - I thought that it all wouldn't necessarily "hit me" - as they say - until maybe I got on the plane, or even got to Dublin, but I think packing really did the trick. (Disclaimer: My mom did all of the packing. She's a wizard at fitting an incredible amount of stuff into an incredibly small space. She's my hero, and I'm blessed to have her.)

Looking into a bag and realizing these few items of clothes, books, documents, an iPad and a journal - that's all you get to take. That's it. You're exploring the world. Four huge, giant, brand new countries that will completely and utterly blow your mind, exhaust you, amaze you, but stop you dead in your tracks, introducing you to things you never thought possible. It's damn uncomfortable. And this bag. That's all you get. Good luck. No Mom to come home to and say, "That was hard." No roommates, no best friends, no comfort of your own bed. No long days of doing nothing but watching Netflix, riding your bike around your hometown, or simply being completely unconsciously comfortable.

This is all you get. And I've got to say, that scared the shit out of me just a tiny bit. I cried for a second, and then couldn't help it, but I started to smile. My dad said, "You know, these things are rough. You're gonna have these moments. It's uncomfortable, and there's a huge fear of the unknown. But I just think you're more alive when you're going through those times. You just live more." He's so right. I'm going to live so much in the next six weeks. Live and grow. And growth isn't always the most comfortable, easy thing, but it's so very rich.

I have a team of the most amazing people ever behind me, cheering me on. So many friends and family saying, "This is going to be so awesome for you." It, honestly, is keeping me sane right now, because without them, I'm not sure I could believe I could do it.

I love you all like mad, and I'll miss you like crazy.

xoxo