Be reassured.

I am no longer feeling that icky homesickness. PHEW, THANK THE LORD. These feeling may be fleeting, however, as in two days I will be headed to France - the first country that language barriers may rise far aboove my capacities, the first country where I will be with mostly strangers, the first country where I have obligations and such. No, I will not think about this peace fleeting. // Stay present, Ashley. // For the first time since I've been in Europe, I feel close to being myself again. That is mostly due to my aunt now being here and making me laugh and feel free to be who she's always known me to be. I feel myself, yes, but with a little bit more. I feel encouraged to be more of that artist I talked about in last night's post. Little plans are starting to fill my head about who I should be when I get back to the States. I want to fill my life with music and writing. I want to follow this bravery and run with it a million miles. // I don't know exactly what I'll do. Do we ever? // I don't know what the point of this post was tonight. I suppose just to reassure the ones I love that I am finally feeling just fine. Your prayers and your loving words are so dear to me, and I feel so close to your hearts, though I'm far from you. // PS. A couple book requests. 1. "Sexgod" by Rob Bell. This man (pastor?) talks about the relationship between God and sexuality, often talking about marriage. A good one. Not too intensely Jesus-y. 2. "Blue Like Jazz" by Don... something. (I don't have my books in front of me, since Internet is only good downstairs, and my room is very much upstairs.) You'll find it if you google it. (I just love the Internet-age. So wonderfully lazy and unknowing, expecting someone else to do the work of figuring everything out.) This one is great, too. Like its subtitle suggests, it is simply thoughts on Christianity. It is the memoir of an average sinner and his journey toward falling in love with God. Again, not preachy. It's just a discovery of something most of us are searching for - more Love! 3. "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave. The backcover instructs me not to tell you what happens in the story, as its magic is in its unfolding. I will, however, tell you that any Clark kid will instantly fall in love with the story of this sweet African refugee. I will also tell you that I read it in two days, which is rare for me. It is such an easy, entertaining, deep read. 4. The last book is a devotional that now I can't remember the name of, which is insane because I read it every morning. Maybe that is God telling me either a. It's time to go to bed, or b. Stop suggesting Jesus books, because people are starting to feel you're getting to preachy. Haha. Either way, I have no idea what it's called now. But JR - my lovely friend from Woostah, who gave me this book - if you're reading, can you comment and remind me? Anyway, I'm being politely ushered in German out of the Internet-access part of the Hotel. And politely ushered by my aching bones to please, for the love of God, get some sleep. // Love you all like crazy.